Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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