Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize