You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
