Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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