I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
