is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
