I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
All the doctor said was why
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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