his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
