i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
