What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.