I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.