Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize