she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
