Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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