me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
