She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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