I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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