I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
