so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
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when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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