He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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