Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
