He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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