I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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