Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
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