Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
high people should be assigned attendants
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
