We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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