Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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