I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
