when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
