true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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