The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
