The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
