i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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