Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize