I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
