reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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