we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
