I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You need Xanax blowdarts
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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