Yo dont text me then not text me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We need to rekindle our bromance
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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