Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
