I wish I could punch you in the face.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Michael Bay diarrhea
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
