but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
