I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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