you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
