got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
