no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
