There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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