best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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