What did we do last night that was yellow?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
