I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
