I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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