some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
