her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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