love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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