just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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