ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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