i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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