I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
