my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just found puke in my bra..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
